Rabbits Rule the Clan! Bwahaha!
by Ruling Rabbit of the Universe
Summary: It was a normal day... at first. A whole mix of randomness has taken over ALL four Clans. And who is leading it? T?he one, the only...Tygrr! Pronounced as Tiger
1. Firestar gets a Letter

A/N: sorry guys, itz really short but i couldnt think of anything else... this takes place like after Sunset and before The Sight. I hope you think it's funny!

It was a normal day, everything was normal, and everyone was doing his or her normal duties. Well, almost everyone.

Firestar slowly walked over to his mailbox. "Hmm… I doubt anything interesting came today…" he muttered. "Bill, bill, bill…Hey wait a minute! I don't get bills!" he exclaimed, right before he ripped all the bills up, which was pretty much everything in the mailbox. Everything was ripped up except for one small envelope. It was an advertisement and it said,

"Do you want a break from it all? To just relax and take a vacation? Well, sign up for Kitty Kruises and you might win a three- week cruise to Antarctica!"

"Well…I've always wanted to go to Antarctica…"he said. "Oh what do I have to lose?" he decided, and signed up.

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A week later, Firestar leaped on to the branch on the tree and yowled to make all cats shut their yap. Onestar, Leopardstar, and Blackstar all blabbed on the usual stuff- nothing interesting had happened to them. When it came to be Firestar's turn, he also blabbed on the usual stuff then went to the actually INTERESTING stuff. "I will be leaving for three weeks. During this time, Brambleclaw will be in charge." Waves of confusion overwhelmed all four Clans, and Brackenfur spoke up. "Where are you going?" Firestar answered, "I know you think I'm leaving for no particular reason, but the reason why I'm leaving is because I won a Kitty Kruise to Antarctica!"

"But, but, but..."

"Yes, Brambleclaw?"

"I can't lead NOW! Squirrelflight will have her kits any day now!"

"Good point...who volunteers to lead for ThunderClan?"

Then with a quick glance at how many paws popped up, Firestar quickly added, "That is from ThunderClan?"

Many numbers of paws dropped down and the first person Firestar saw was Ashfur. "Okay! Ashfur gets to be leader while I'm on my cruise!"

_Oh well this can't be good..._ thought Brambleclaw.


	2. Pink and Purple PolkaDotted Mousies

A/N: no offense to Ashfur lovers. Still read it! Just pretend that Ashfur is someone else!

Ashfur plopped down on Firestar's den. _Ah, first day of leadership. What should I do first?_ After about an hour of thinking about what he should do, he narrowed it down to two things: torture Brambleclaw with stupid tasks for stealing Squirrelflight; or sleep all day. By this time, it was already sunrise, and he decided. Time to torture Brambleclaw!

Ashfur walked out of his (or Firestar's) den. He searched the camp for Brambleclaw and finally found Brambleclaw in the nursery. "Hey Brambleclaw!" called Ashfur. "Hey can you run an errand for me?" Brambleclaw raised his kitty eyebrows suspiciously, but he had to respect Ashfur as his leader. "Sure," he said, still suspicious. "What do you want me to do?"

"Okay, this is a very, VERY secret mission that NO ONE can know about, okay?" Brambleclaw, listening intensely, nodded seriously. "Okay, I…"

"Yes?

"...Want you…"

"Yes?"

"… To look…

"YES?"

"For pink and purple polka-dotted mousies! And don't forget to catch all of them and bring them back!"

_Well, he's leader so… I guess he knows best…_thought Brambleclaw.

"Well…okay, I guess. Just let me ask you a question," Brambleclaw replied. "**Why **do you want a pink and purple polka-dotted mousie?"

"Duh! I've always wanted a pink and purple polka-dotted mousy as a pet! And don't come back until you have at LEAST twenty!"

"…Are you sure you aren't on drugs?"

Suddenly Ashfur started sweating and stared at the ground. "Uh…uh…NO! Of c-course n-not! W-whatever made you think th-that?! Of course not!" Brambleclaw rolled his eyes and stalked away to follow Ashfur's ridiculous orders.

Ashfur had a nice, though small conversation with Squirrelflight. She was still 'just friends' with Ashfur, but he knew that secretly, deeeeeep down inside, that Squirrelflight still loved him. (Squirrelflight in background: COUGHCOUGHYEAHRIGHTCOUGHCOUGH) After the conversation, he went to Leafpool's den. Having no idea why he walked in, he walked out again. But then he remembered so he walked back in. "Hey, Leafpool?" Leafpool looked up. She was writing in a pink, fuzzy journal that had the words: LEAFPOOL'S DIARY sprawled out on the front cover of the journal. "OOH! FUZZINESS IS AWESOMENESS!" cried Ashfur leaping at the diary. Before Leafpool could say anything or protest, Ashfur grabbed the diary to touch the fuzziness and instead saw three words: I Love Crowfeather! Realizing that he had read the words, Leafpool snatched her diary away and snapped, "What do you want?"

"Hehehehe! Ooh! You like CROOOWFEATHER!"

"Oh yeah? Well I know you like Squirrelflight!" retorted Leafpool.

"Oh please, everybody knows that," said Ashfur, acting like he just doesn't care.

"Well I ALSO happen to know that you're on drugs! And that you still sneak blueberry pie after Firestar banned it!"

Ashfur gasped. "You WOULDN'T!"

Leafpool smirked. "Oh, yes I would. Unless you keep shut about… my diary."

Ashfur nodded dumbly and walked out of Leafpool's den. Leafpool, seeing that he disappeared, quickly picked her diary up again and started writing about everything that just happened.

The sun was setting, and a dark tabby was coming in from the trees. "Aaaaah!! Tigerstar's ghost! Saaaaaaaaave me!!!" screamed Ashfur, quickly hiding behind the nearest cat, which happened to be Sorreltail. "Go away!" she shouted at Ashfur. "Besides, that's just Brambleclaw! And why does he have a huge box with him?" Ashfur jumped up. How could Brambleclaw catch TWENTY pink and purple polka-dotted mousies in ONE DAY?

"Uh… hi Brambleclaw!" said Ashfur, being a bit embarrassed. "Yesh, I have sho pwink and pwurple polka- dwotted moushies!" said Brambleclaw, with a box in his jaws. You could hear the squeaks of apparently twenty (or more) mousies in the box. Brambleclaw set the box down at Ashfur's feet. "There you go," he sighed. "All twenty of your pink and purple polka-dotted mousies. Go ahead, take a look." As Ashfur lifted his paw to open the box, Brambleclaw ran back to him and said, "OH wait! I have to set the fence up so the mousies don't run away." Since Brambleclaw had super super speed, in about a minute there was a strong fence that only warriors could get through. He stared proudly at his work. "Okay, you can open it now," he said glancing at Ashfur, then running back to the fresh-kill pile to get something huge and plump to eat.

Lucky for him, Brackenfur had, that day, gotten a huge, over-sized vole the size of a full-grown cat (it was perfectly healthy) and everyone was having a feast. Except Ashfur. He was too focused on his box. He opened the box, expecting a twenty normal rats, with pink and purple polka-dots stuck to them. But instead he opened the box, and found twenty mousies. Not mouses, mousies- whose fur was, well, fur. With pink and purple polka-dots and all. He stared at them. "I KNEW THAT THEY EXISTED!" he shouted. Then he fainted. The pink and purple polka-dotted mousies didn't like him… so they shot him with their laser that made kitties faint. Therefore, Ashfur was unconscious.


	3. Unconsciousness

A/N: sorry for da hold-up, for the ppl dat actually read my stories. R&R!!! I don't own Taylor Swift, and I love her songs, so don't get offended. It was the first song that pooped in my mind. YES. POOPED.

'Hmm…' thought Leafpool. 'What is that lump of fur over there?' She wandered toward the metal fence. "OMSC!! (a/n: in case you don't know what OMSC stands for, it means oh my starclan) That's ASHFUR!!!" Then she fainted.

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Brambleclaw noticed that day that everyone was wearing earplugs that day. 'Why is everyone wearing earplugs?' he thought. 'How come I didn't get one? How did THEY get them?' About a minute later, he figured out why. Mousefur skipped into the camp after hunting. The old she-cat still loved to hunt and she felt so INCREDIBLY joyful that day. So she started to sing (again). "HEEEEEEES THEEEEEEE REEEEEEAAAAAAASON FOOOOOOOR THHHEEEEEEEE TEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARDRRRROOOOOOOPPPPPPSS ONNNNNNN MYYYYY GEEEEEEEEEEETTAAAAAAR. THE OOOOOONNNNNNNNLLLLYYYYY THIIIIIIIIIING THHHHHHHAT KEEEEEEEEEEEPS MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSHHHHHIIINNNNNNN' ON AAAA WEEEEEEEEEEEEESHIN' STAAAAAAAAAAAAAR," she screeched. Everyone winced as his or her earplugs started to disintegrate. Brambleclaw, who didn't have any earplugs, instantly plopped on the floor, unconscious. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S DAAAAAAAAAAA SOOOOOOOOONG INNNNNNNNN DAAAAAAAAA CAAAAAAAAAAAR, I KEEEEEEEEEP SINNNNNNNNNNNGIIIIIIIN, DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOW WWWWWWWWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IIIIIIIII DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," screeched Mousefur again. Everyone's earplugs suddenly popped out and ran away to vacation with Firestar. This cause for everyone in the camp to plop down, unconscious. "Hmmm…" said Mousefur, out loud to herself. "I wonder why everyone fainted!" She shrugged. " If everyone else is doing it, I guess I can do it too!" So she just (somehow) made herself faint along with everyone else. All of Thunderclan was silent. All of Thunderclan was unconscious.

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'Wow,' said a small figure in the shadows. 'That was easier than I thought.'

'Yeah! You didn't even do anything and everyone is already unconscious!'

'THE TIME IS NOW!' screamed the little figure. 'WE SHALL ATTACK TODAY!'

His announcement was followed with cheers from the others.

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Brambleclaw moaned. He forced his eyes open and saw…

An orange point, that was directed at him. As his vision returned from him, he noticed that it was…a carrot. "Get up!" snarled a voice. Brambleclaw, still tired, forced himself up. He found himself face to face with a cottontail rabbit. As Brambleclaw's brains came back to him, he said "What are you going to do to me? Kill me with your carrot?" The cottontail grinned an evil smile. It poked him hard with the carrot, and Brambleclaw found that he was bleeding. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SCARY CARROT! AAAAAAAAH! MOMMY MOMMY!!!!!!!!"

"I thought so," said another voice. It jumped onto the Highstones, and screamed "ATTENTION!!"

Brambleclaw saw that an evil bunny also cornered everyone. The figure revealed itself. It was also a rabbit, a bit smaller than the others were. The fur was white, though it had brown marks on its back, head and belly. "WE HAVE EVERY WARRIOR SURROUNDED! I have been watching your kind for a great time now. I am taking my revenge for EVERY rabbit that has been killed heartlessly by YOU SAVAGES! I am declaring myself LEADER of Thunderclan!"

Murmurs of protest were heard until the bunny RAWRED. "Listen up! You will accept me as your leader, and MY DEPUTY will be leader after me! If you will not accept, then I will be forced to bring out…Mister Flufflehead."

The clan rahred with laughter.

"Mister Flufflehead?"

"Oh I am SOOOOO scared!"

The rabbit narrowed its eyes and screamed (apparently he likes to be loud) "BRING OUT MISTER FLUFFLEHEAD!"

Obediently, the cottontails brought out a huge bunny. He had large fangs and strapped to his back was… a machine gun. That shot out sharp carrot pieces. ThunderClan whimpered at the sight of Mister Flufflehead. "My leader name shall be Tigerstar!" The Clan gasped (again.)

"Oh wait I said it wrong. My leader name shall be Tygrrstar!"

"…NOW CHEER!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAY!" cheered Thunderclan.


End file.
